If you are a parent and worried about your child because he tells a lie and you want to get rid of it, then this article is best for you. In this article we will discuss, how to handle the situation when your child tells a lie, what should you do and how to discourage him.
8 Reasons why children lie?
Children are very sensitive and sometimes they tell a lie to avoid the bad results of any situation. Many children start telling a lie as young as 3 years old to get the things which they want for themselves. There are many reasons “why children lie” but the following are some major reasons
- It’s new to them, they want to try what will happen if they tell a lie.
- Some children do not have the confidence, they feel ashamed by telling the truth to their friends or teachers or even parents. They think that lie makes them more impressive, good, and talented and they can easily get approval and attention. Simply because tell a lie to increase their self-esteem.
- Some children go through depression and they don’t want that other people know about their depression, so they tell a lie to hide their depression and anxiety.
- Sometimes children tell a lie impulsively because they don’t think before they speak. They just randomly say what come in their mind.
- Sometimes children don’t want to hurt or disappointed anyone. They tell a lie (white lie) because they don’t want to hurt the feelings of other people.
- Children also tell a lie to make any tale, situation and story more trilling, wonderful and exciting.
- Children sometimes keep secret about serious issue, simply tell a lie in the front of their parents to hide their wrong behaviour.
- Children learn from their role model. When you do it, they do it.
At what age do children start lying?
Many children start telling a lie from their early age. They usually start at the age of three because they start knowing that you cannot read their mind and don’t know the truth. More children start telling a lie at the age of six because at this age they learn from their surroundings. With the passage of time, they successfully learn how to tell a lie without being caught up? At the age of fifteen, they start telling white lies because they don’t want to hurt or disappointed others.
What should a parent do when his child lies?
Lying is a very bad habit, it could get them into serious trouble as they grow. You should discourage them about telling lie and correct them when they are still young.
- House rules! Reward and Punishment System. You should teach them the importance and value of being honest. Encourage them to speak the truth no matter how hard the situations are.
- In a religious way, value of christianity, god loves honest person.
- You are their role model. If you always honest and tell the truth, your children will learn from you.
- It is very important to explain the difference between truth and lie. Explain how lie could destroy the character and personality of a person. E.g. make use of the story “the boy who cried wolf” , no one likes the dishonest and liar.
- If you caught your child lying then give him a punishment. I’m not talking about phyiscal punishment, but sense of guilt. Make him feel guilty, as he will remember this longer. Or you can try confisticate his favourite toys, no TV time, say for a week. This trick works well for some parents.
- Warning and established consequences for telling lies. Explain and emphasis the consequences as well as the impact of their future.
- You should praise your child when they tell you the truth. By doing this, not only discourage them to lie but also established the connection between you and your child. Try to build a strong connection with your child so he can easily share anything with you without any reluctance.
- Sometimes children may not be able to distinguish the line between reality and fantasy. They will often lie when they don’t know how to face the reality. They usually tell a lie for fantasy to avoid punishment or disapointment because fantasy helps them fulfilled the needs they are not able to achieve in reality. Try to explain and guide them fantasy aren’t real, and of course will not boost their self-esteem.
Remember, you are their role model. Think before you act as your children learn from you. Try to build strong relation between you and your child. If you caught them telling a lie, don’t make thing worst! Don’t lose your patience, always keep calm, don’t panic and correct them. If all of these does’t work for you, please consult child specilist for assistance.