You did it again?
You are getting ready to leave the house. You are getting ready to head to work after dropping off your kids at school, and you are already five minutes late.
You tell everyone we are leaving in 2 minutes.
Two minutes pass, and you call out again “Let’s go, we are leaving”
At this time your 12-year-old daughter comes running downstairs to tell you that she doesn’t have any clean pants for school.
“WHAT!!! Why did you wait until we are getting ready to leave to tell me this!!!”
Welcome to daily life with children. There are very few instances where you are at your breaking point, and sometimes yelling becomes part of our behaviour.
Why do we yell at our children? Is it after numerous times of repeating the same instructions, or is it at any chance you get. It can become such a part of our daily routine that it is almost like breathing. Let’s be real; our kids drive us nuts. How can something so small and that you love so much drive you to the point of madness? There are so many answers to that question that it would make your mind explode.
There is no stopping it either because the minute you tell yourself “I will not act like that again” your child is sticking their hand in the cookie jar while playing with knives and doing all this while balancing on a chair. Yelling is, unfortunately, a part of raising children. Yelling tends to be a reaction to adverse action, and if it comes out of a place of love, then it is part of life. I was yelled at constantly as a child, and I turned out fine, I think?
Where it can be considered excessive is if it has become second-nature. If every time you talk to your child, it can start a yelling match. The fine line between it being acceptable to yell and bullying can be thin. Sometimes yelling can be hurtful and mean. Words that are said without thinking can be devastating and hard to forget.
So before it gets to that point here are a few things you can start doing to prevent your next explosion.
What Trigger You
Try to avoid any triggers that can lead to a blowup. Think about the last time you got mad and yelled. Try to understand why did that particular action at that specific time cause you to explode.
If you feel that you are approaching the point of no return, take a step back and take a deep breath, and try your hardest to remain calm.
Find a Partner
Find someone that can pull you from the situation before it gets out of hand — someone who also recognises your triggers and when you are close to losing your mind.
The bottom line is, you need to find a way to control it. Understanding that if you yell at your child, it doesn’t necessarily make you a bad parent, just a tired, stressed and frustrated with repeating yourself hundreds of times parent. I have my moments with my children, where I crack, but I always make it a point to go back and apologise to them after the fact for yelling, not for the disciplining part. Always remember that yelling is a temporary action that can have lasting effects if not dealt with appropriately.