Before becoming parents, everything seems easy. How hard can it be to raise a small child?
During the pre-pregnancy period, we often start determining how we will teach our babies from the very start on how to be well behaved kids, because how hard can it be? But often this turns out to be the hardest part. We all would love to hear compliments regarding our children but the one that actually satisfies us is when someone compliments about our kid’s behavior. One very common mistake parents make is that they try to bring up their children exactly how they were brought up. This is a straight no-no!
You must be wondering, why? Well, our generation is way different than theirs. We were brought up under different circumstances, in a whole different world. Today’s kids expect us to be more open about their lives. Today, parents are more like friends towards their kids, and this is very important. With new generation problems like bullying is a norm, it is important that your kid feels safe while sharing about his or her problems with you. So, in order to raise well behaved and happy kids, it is important that you evolve your parenting skills according to their time and need.
The key is to remember to look at the world according to their point of view. This not only leads to a happy family but also a happy family with well behaved and happy kids.
Following are 9 must know parenting hacks to raise well behaved kids.
Make Your Expectations Clear
The first and most important hack to raise well behaved kids is to make your expectations very clear from the start. You have all the reasons in the world to believe that disciplining kids is a daunting job, but we are here to make it easier for you, because believe us, it is not that hard!
The problem starts when we let our children believe that they are not accountable for their actions. In this situation, they start believing that they can do whatever they want, they can get whatever they want too. So, when you do not give them something they want, they end up throwing a huge tantrum. It is important to remember that children understand things too so, if you set clear boundaries, they will follow them.
Now, you do not have to explain yourself to your child but if you are expecting a certain action from him, then make sure he or she understands why. Now if you ask your toddler to keep the toys where they were initially placed, he might not do so. But if you tell him or her to place the toys where they were BECAUSE he or she will easily find them later, they will understand this. You need to communicate why there are certain rules that he or she has to follow.
Be Generous When Offering Praise
Kids need lots of reassurance. A toddler getting compliment from parents is the best thing for them! So, even if they make their bed or share their toys or something as basic as greeting the guests, make sure that you very generously compliment them. This positive enforcement is very important for toddlers and inspires them to repeat their behavior for the sake of hearing “Good job!” from their parents.
Apart from that, parents have to make sure that they practice what they preach. Toddlers learn from what they see and hardly from what they are told. So, if you yourself do not put your things in place, you cannot expect your toddler to do so. When you read book in your free time, or clean the house, greet people nicely, your toddler will learn this from you at one point and start practicing it too. This is one of the most basic need in order to have well behaved kids, it is important that they see such a behavior too.
Let Them Develop Problem Solving Skills
Children often show signs of aggression and throw tantrums when they cannot control something. Sure, your kid is only a toddler but this is the time to let him or her make decisions on little things. Give them options and let them choose. Let them decide what color clothes they want to wear or which flavor of juice they want to take to school. When you give some control to the toddlers, they are likely to act out less as they will figure out how to equip themselves. So, in future when your kid is fighting or yelling or throwing tantrums, you can question them how they can handle the situation differently.
Always Encourage Your Toddlers To Try Again
We are always in a hurry and we expect the same from our toddlers too. But it is important to sit back and ponder over the fact that these little humans are already going way beyond their speed limit. We might get things done for them way faster and quicker, but this will only make them more reliant on the parents. In order to instill discipline in them, we have to be patient too. So even if they take forever to tie their shoe laces, let them. And if they fail to do so, just let them try again every day till they finally learn it. It is important to not let them give up, in fact impose and appreciate a “try again” attitude. Let them figure out how to get it done, this will improve their cognitive as well as problem solving skills.
Practice Patience With Them
It is important for the parents to let their toddlers practice how to be patient especially when things do not go their way. Toddlers want everything to be done in seconds as they do not like waiting at all. So, it is important that they know how to be patient, so that when they actually have to wait for something they do not end up acting out or throwing tantrums. You can make them practice patience by letting them wait for the things they want. If your toddler has asked you to do something, let him or her wait while you finish your other work. They might get agitated in the beginning but this is how they will learn. Talk to them about how they feel bad for waiting but they are doing an amazing job. Let them play with puzzles and not just with iPad and tablets which give them results instantly by pressing a button.
Apologize To Your Toddler
Your toddler will be the walking, talking representation of you and how you are. Our parents hardly ever apologized to us, as it was considered an act of shame. It is essential to remember that by apologizing for your mistakes you are teaching your toddler how to be honest and how every human make mistakes. But what counts is to apologize for the mistake and be better next time. So, the next time your toddler makes a mistake, he will copy you and apologize instead of acting out.
Teach Good Behavour During Your Child’s Playtime
If you hear your toddler calling the other kid names no matter how funny they may sound, interfere immediately and explain to him how important it is to be kind and not hurt someone even in a joking way. Once you intervene, this will send a clear message to the toddler that name calling is not allowed and kindness is a rule he or she has to follow. Similarly, if you see your child helping a friend, immediately tell him or her how proud you are and what a great friend he or she is. This will instill a message in their minds that being helpful is appreciated.
Remind Them To Be Respectful
We expect our kids to greet guests and smile towards them. So, when your child forgets to do it, remind him by saying “Jake, you remember Mr. Pitt, don’t you?” It is important to request for respect and remind them because they are only kids who have thousands of things running in their minds every minute. By doing this they will learn how to behave nicely even when they are angry or frustrated.
Make Them Learn What Empathy Is
No matter how many long lectures you give to your toddler about being empathetic, he or she will not understand it and will probably run away. So, when you see your child not sharing something with another kid, ask him how sad would he or she (the other kid) must be feeling? It is important to make them realize that everyone has emotions, their friends have emotions and they can hurt their feelings too. Help them understand expressions so that they practice it more.
Teaching kids how to be well behaved or disciplined is not something you will achieve in a day. This requires daily practice and lots of patience. They are only kids so we cannot expect them to grasp everything like grown adults and implement on it. Keep teaching them and practice lots of patience, sooner rather than later, they will eventually start practicing it too.